God Doesn't Care

Or give a damn either :)

 

On Sept 30, a tornado touched down in the Seattle area. Very unusual weather for that time of the year, remarkable for many things. But mostly, it touches upon the questions I have been asking for some time now. Why do people resist change? Why do they keep making the same mistakes over and over again, when it is wrong for them, and leads to suffering?

 

I have been following the case of the Murder Of Meredith Kercher for some time now. Each killing, each murder by people or through war creates this hole in our collective consciousness which is very sad to observe, from my position of wanting to help humanity, so yes, this particular case became important to me for a while. Not to affect its outcome in any way, but to observe. I still send reminders to people once in a while though :)

 

On Sept. 30, Amanda Knox's appeal against her conviction for the murder of Meredith Kercher began in Florence, Italy. She is awaiting the results of her appeal in her home town of Seattle. Was the tornado a message for her? Does that even matter for people who are so stuck in karma they might not ever listen? There was a funny message for me for sure, the tornado blew the roof off a garage door manufacturer in the US, and I'm waiting for a replacement garage door from the US. Time for me to move on :)

Yesterday, November 08, a super typhoon hit the Philippines, carrying the strongest winds recorded in a very long time, 200 + mph. I spared a thought for an old disciple of mine from the Philippines, Jennifer, who had a very hard time of it changing, and in the end, repeated her mistakes. She was in such a wonderful position to realize her dreams, then backed off to a place where she was comfortable.

The last two weeks have been very interesting for me. My landlord was upset because I refused to let him get away with something, so he threatened to evict me and my family. I told him to go ahead and do what he liked, this isn't the first time of threats and bluster, but, really, I feel sorry for him, he looks ill.

Then I had to go and bail out a friend in court. A whole series of events ensued, and if I hadn't intervened, he would still be under arrest awaiting trial. But the problem arose from his not taking my advice in the first place. When a relationship is over, it's over. Why keep holding on, why do people keep making the same mistakes?

I ran into a fellow healer the other day. He started as a student, didn't continue the training, that was fine. In the first week of training, the Supreme Court passed a ruling that saved him over a million dollars. When it became clear he had reached the limits of his learning with me, I left, since I had no more reason to be there.

Then he got into an er, space where he got married and sunk more than a million dollars into a house he could not sell. It was nice to see him, but also a lesson for others. Another man, the Iranian I went all the way to Tehran to help him and his family, is $5 million in debt because he, too was stuck in a place where he couldn't accept my advice. So, when something is over, move on. It's up to people to get away from their comfort zones, let go of their ego.

Walking home the other night, I came across a skunk on the sidewalk. We said hi to each other, I went home. The Medicine Cards by Jamie Sams and David Carson, has this to say about Skunk Medicine: Respect, but also, boundaries. Respect your self, respect the other, expect respect from others. And if threatened, know how to repel. Otherwise, be nonchalant. If people do not change, then that is life and the human condition, and it is up to them.

But: God does care. That is why you are given knowledge, and wisdom, if only you knew how to use it.

And now, the archangels are dancing in our home, and one of them, Michael, runs in our back yard as a red squirrel, even though their natural habitat is in Europe and Siberia.

Yesterday, a hawk flew over Chloe, then  three more danced over her head, and one landed in a tree, and, ripping a small bird, calmly ate dinner.

This is a message from spirit; it is up to you to follow.  God does care, but first, you must do the right thing.











Edward Joseph Snowden, Full Of Grace

Tuesday's child is full of grace

Edward Joseph Snowden, born Tuesday, June 21, 1983 in the US, is indeed, full of grace. Not since Daniel Ellsberg released the Pentagon Papers has there been such a widespread impact on people's knowledge of the extent of governmental lies, and how little they trust us little people.  This former National Security Agency whistle blower and analyst did not tell us much we who have been following the illegal wiretapping of our private information since the late 70's do not already know, but his impact on the world has been earth shattering. Edward Snowden, like Pfc Bradley Manning, like Daniel Ellsberg, and so many others like him, is a true American Hero.

Why is it that the best of us sit in exile, and the worst of us go their merry, oblivious way? This is not the America I naively used to love, until I grew up. It is a funny sort of world, that a president who was for whistle blowers is now against them, and a secretary of state who was against war is now for it, as he 'makes the case for war against Syria'. Yet, amazingly, people are pushing back, and it is a time that has taken long in coming.

The coming changes to the United States have been building slowly, but it was only after the events of 9/11 that I said then, the United States had changed..forever. This is an America that treats its citizens as enemy, and punishes those who seek to expose its lies. This is an America that assassinates presidents, civil rights leaders, journalists and activists. Award winning journalist Michael Hastings, who was reporting on the War Machine, died in a suspicious accident. Witnesses to the Boston Marathon atrocity in fake police shoot outs. Open Internet activist Aaron Swartz driven to suicide. E-mail businesses closed down rather than submit to illegal searches of their members accounts. Wikileaks founder Julian Assange seeking asylum in the Ecuadorian Embassy in London, Pfc.Bradley Manning, who leaked evidence of war crimes in Iraq, getting a sentence of 30 yrs imprisonment. And now Edward Snowden, in temporary exile in Moscow as he can't even fly safely to Ecuador.

I never met met him, (got a personal thank you tweet once) but all reports indicate Snowden is motivated by patriotism, of a libertarian Ron Paul kind, and I applaud him for that. As to his character and motivations, Astrology always gives an answer...

From his chart above, I note first, that his birthday is June 21, which just so happens to be the birthday of my younger brother who died of leukemia just before his 10th birthday. It was his death that set my path as a healer and teacher. Then there is Snowden's Moon at 13 degrees Scorpio, exactly the same degree as mine, a remarkable coincidence. (We share the same delight in finding secrets,  and revealing them :)

His Gemini ascendant shows a person motivated by idealism and honesty. Sadly, such people often pay a personal price. His Mercury in the 12th points to exile away from his home, but still, being close to his ascendant, shows brilliance in his field of computer engineering and architecture. (The Moon in Scorpio shows his work in intelligence, and coincidentally again, I almost ended up with the Pakistani ISI if my path had not brought me here)

Sun, Mars, Moon's node conjunct in the 1st house opposite Neptune in the 7th show the conflict between personal character and the need to keep secrets for 'the greater good'. May make lasting relationships difficult, so a little sadness there.

Venus in the 3rd trine Uranus-Jupiter conjunct in the 6th denotes a live in public service, that he is personable and well liked by many, even if some find him too honest, too much. As I  might say, so? These two planets in the 6th opposite Mercury in the 12th house show a concern for his nervous system. Try to release stress, bro. Yes, the world is full of shits. Don't let them drag you down ;)

Saturn conjunct Pluto in the 5th trine Sun-Mars-Node in the 1st show his personal physical courage and that he is compelled to push against power structures, makes decisions based on what he thinks is best, a risk taker at times. (A good thing, that he dislikes cowardice in the face of moral outrages)

And lastly, on a personal note. A prayer for Edward Snowden, that there be a solution for his plight. We each of us have a place, and each of us must either act with courage, or take the path of excessive timidity.

I see signs, every where. Americans are now waking up. They question the endless wars, the so called Patriot Act, they try to cut funding for the attack on Syria, they demand that Congress vote on it, they support Snowden and Manning and those who speak up. They, too, are speaking up.

It will be a long struggle. Years of it till humanity wakes up. One day, we will all find God.

THE ARCHANGELS

Michael and Co.

One gets tired, truly, of telling people what to do when they aren't quite ready to hear it, but here goes anyway :)

I've been following a minor case of demonic possession, a murder in Italy, and here the leaders of the world are sabre rattling and threatening to attack Syria? What, they haven't learned from Iraq, Afghanistan, Libya, Vietnam? Never mind. Wealth and power are nothing, even though as the late dear departed Argentinian President Hugo Chavez said, "the smell of sulfur" is in the room.

The archangels have been playing in our house, and their message is a lot clearer, and honest, than anything you can get from the teevee today.

There are four of them, Michael, Raphael, Uriel, Gabriel, and here is their message, free of what religion has to say. As the foremost beings of God,

Michael leads the armies of God against the forces of Satan in Heaven.

Raphael is the Healer, representing God's power to heal.

Uriel is the light of God, or spirit, that shines on us all.

Gabriel is the messenger. Only a few get to hear Gabriel, but anyone who is touched by Gabriel, knows it.

In the difficult times ahead, remember what they represent. They will touch each corner of the world, and each of us, soon.

Their work is on the spiritual plane, but they also, act here on earth. They don't intercede in our personal matters, but still, watch our actions, and see the choices that humanity must make in the time ahead.

Their advice, and mine: follow your spiritual path.

Black vs White

Thoughts at a meditation

So the day after I wrote my last piece about the upcoming meditation Toronto gets hit by a huge rainstorm. More rain falls in two hours than we get in a month. I'm out on Bloor Street, and the rain is being driven sideways. Lightning flashing by every two seconds, and the thunder is almost continuous. God is pissed, and so am I. No umbrella, and I'm soaked. Eat at a restaurant, see a movie. When I head home, am told the subway's been hit by a flood, so no trains for the last four stations. Get home hours later, and the powers's gone, for 300,000 people across Toronto. Indeed, these things happen whenever I decide it's time to have a clearing, but this is ridiculous. The storm aimed directly at Toronto.

The next day, the power's still out. Thank goodness my family's OK, and eventually the power comes back on, 16 hours later. My neighbors had their basements flooded, but we were OK. But I'm not OK, having been hit by a food infection. WTF? The last time it happened was like 40 yrs ago? High fever, chills, the runs. Is this from one of my patients, who has the C. Dificile bug? No. I get rid of the bug in a day, but don't eat for 5, resting and thinking of the meditation to come. I do so much healing, and and think of and am in a healing situation 24/7, thinking of friends, family, the planet and universe. So much energy goes through me, this was a psychic illness brought on by every thing, and, a sign post to show me my path ahead is very clear.

I was going to talk about healing, about the events at the family picnic and confirmation about the direction in life I was taking. I had known this since I was 5, when I went to Mt. Fuji. Why are you here? What is your purpose in life, and what are the blocks that prevent you from moving forward? I think, with admiration, of a woman who, after meeting me, decided she couldn't marry someone she was engaged to. The next year, she met the right person, and they now have a child. I got a call from another woman, and we have a lovely chat. She used to be my student ten years ago, and had this lovely white aura around her. Now, it's blue, and I am sad for a bit about what might have been if she'd continued. What is it that holds us back?

Then the verdict on the Trayvon Martin shooting, and it seems, that America still has a long way to go. I am not going to engage with one case, when there is so much wrong on the subject of race and prejudice. I will also be talking about this at the meditation, as I watch people's reactions to the case. A friend in Hawaii says the native people can be pretty racist against white people too, and another from there, that the last day of school was always "beat a haole" day (a white person). I reply, the people that have the most karma are the Black, Native, and Jewish people. That, does not excuse the racism and hatred that has been directed against them over the years. I would like to help them, but they have to change too, and ask.

But still. We used to be one race, and one day, will become one race again, due to intermarriage and spiritual awakening. Yes, the different races were created through genetic manipulation on Atlantis, but I had many friends from all over at the international school in Tokyo, and my beautiful mixed background children in this wonderful multicultural city of Toronto like, and are friends with, Jamaican, Chinese and Asian kids. When we love, who knows what the heart will bring?

At the meditation, as people arrive with food and wine. A student says he will be having his first client, a gay man in need of healing. He ends up having to say, he isn't gay himself, and we laugh because that is what happened to me at school. My best friend was gay, but every one thought I was gay, LOL. So I worked with AIDS patients, hands on even terminal patients, and never once took sick from any one. There was a dear young man called Daniel, who got it from a Hepatitis B vaccination. I took him off a macrobiotic diet that wasn't good for him and, with regular healing and meditation, he recovered. But when we went away to the U.S, he got back into the unhealthy diet and the AIDS came back. We met a friend of his in Houston who told us of his passing away, and how some of his family were there to support him, but others, including his own father, were not, and how his last words were, he forgave every one. This, I think, is one of the lessons of healing: Learn to forgive others.

Yes, sometimes we are born as men in women's bodies or women in men's bodies. We come back as black, white, native, poor, rich, whatever it is we need to learn. I, who have been Jewish, Native American, and if I was Black, then I had to be a Black Revolutionary :) know that karma is a learning experience.

Another student says what of the feelings of hopelessness one gets sometimes, and my answer is, just stick to your path. Find where you want to go, then move to it. Spirituality is not an easy journey, but, it gives answers. And yes, work on getting the right relationships. It is unfortunate that so many are lonely. But there is no reason why that can't change. First, you must learn to be alone.

I think of Pfc Bradley Manning, and, Edward Snowden, who in their idealism chose the honest path that would lead to their isolation. I sent a well wish to Snowden on twitter and got a response from him, much appreciated. They tell us we must do what we think is right, and not, accept less.

But above all, try not to be negative or fearful. When you are positive, and make the best of what you get, and try to be honest and do not cheat, or lie, then good often comes your way, and not the bad. We react too much, and holding on to the past or what others do is not the way to peace. As Chloe points out, I do not react to things the way others do, but when I do, then watch out. I know that people's karma will give back to them all the pain they cause others, but still, sometimes one must take a stand.

This is what Black and White are. Two sides, in opposition, yet each requires the other.You can't be perfect, or try to reach perfection without recognizing that both exist inside you. Why, blame the other? What I do, and breathe, is healing, and whatever I learn, I pass on to others. This is the path I choose.

Reflections On A Meditation

Trees bow to spring winds

the silent volcano broods

change is always good

I remember meditations past, that it seems always were closely preceded or followed by disasters and personal changes. This coming meditation, on July 14, is very important. It has already been preceded by the Alberta floods, as over a hundred thousand were forced to evacuate their homes, and a train carrying oil overturned in Quebec, and a plane crashed in San Francisco.

At a family picnic on Canada Day, I heard that someone I knew had gotten pregnant unexpectedly, after much healing. Someone asked me if I knew someone who'd be willing to be a surrogate parent; her health prevented her from carrying a child. Then I met someone else, a friend of the family I hadn't seen for thirty years. His father was one of the first healings I had unknowingly until later, done. He was dying of cancer, given a week to live, recovered and lived another ten years. Seeing him reminded me once again, what I had done, and what my purpose was.

Why are you here? What is your purpose in life? If you want to live the way you are now, bless you. Being spiritual is not, is never, easy. But don't complain, don't be angry. You can change things. Do I remove karma? No, but I help you to do so. The Way of Atlan is to find your path, and follow it. But first, find the things that prevent you from changing your self.

A while back, I sent a gentle reminder to people: sooner or later, your karma will catch up with you. It could be illness, or sadness, or loneliness. It could, for the planet, be disasters. All are preventable, are changeable. All you have to do is change your self. But you do not change what that inner voice says you must do.

I was 5 years old when I went with my parents to Mt. Fuji. Looking out at a glorious sunrise over the mountain, I felt peace, and my path was set from there. I knew that the past, and future were all the same, and I could repeat it, or, I could change it. What I learned since then, I seek to share with you. 

Who knows what the future will bring? 

Past and future join
Mount Fuji in still water
peace reflects inside me

Let There Be Chaos

I Am Kalki

It has been less than a month since I returned from Italy, and I asked myself again, why did I go there? Not only, it seems, to see justice done. Not only, to get a feel for this new pope and the direction of the church. Not only, to bring change to Italy, but as I have seen over and over again, I bring change wherever I go.

Here's the reason I went: to get ready for my next step, and change in direction. I will remind every one of this: Six years ago, I went to Iran, and wrote about it here, in HAPPY NAWROOZ TO THE PEOPLE OF IRAN and I brought change there. That year I also went to the UK, and indeed, change followed me there, too, and the day I left, October 31, 2007, events were unfolding in Perugia, Italy, which led to today, this day of choice and outcome..

Even today, as more chaos descends on the world, I remind people, just how I wrote that war might take place as soon as 2008, but it would depend on the American and Iranian people. Then, in 2008, Barack Husein Obama was elected, and the Iranian people had their Green Revolution after that, so for a while, there was hope. But still, I wrote, it's up to us to change.

When I started writing this a few days ago, the full moon coincided with a lunar eclipse. Next month, there will be more turmoil, with a solar and then another lunar eclipse, with a major shift as Uranus squares Pluto in May. I warned people that there would be upheaval to come, more in their personal lives but also in their surroundings, and I am seeing that effect take place already.

As soon as I got back from Italy, I heard that two of my favorite aunts were in their final stages of cancer. One, who'd been fighting a brave battle for eight years; another, who'd just been diagnosed but it already was too late. They passed away this week, and I thought again, that some things just were meant to be, sad as that might seem, and also, not to be too attached to outcomes. A lesson that some, are learning right now.

Then the Italian president was re-appointed to the job for another seven years, a move that many argued was unconstitutional, and protesting crowds marched on parliament, and two policemen were shot in Rome. Thankfully, they weren't seriously wounded.

In the mean time, there was the Boston bombing. Why? Why is it that two countries I really care about are going through so much? The answer lies here, in my home country where I live. We Canadians are, with the election of Justin Trudeau as leader of the Liberal Party, beginning a long journey back to where we can free ourselves of the neoliberal yoke, and I am focusing on the spiritual (while maintaining my material foundations) and it seems, you will have to come to me, and ask for help. And it will be a long journey.

It seems that Italy and the United States will have to go through a great deal before they can become better places free of the spiritual miasma that affects them, and I know I will have to go there again. But be warned,  I bring change. As, it seems, I did to the many people I met there. I know many things got shaken up, and that there were huge shifts. For the people I met, and those I did not meet. Many were nervous when they first met me, and I am sorry for that. I wish that what I do came with far less cost. But, I do expect faith and trust when people ask for help, otherwise it will never work, and then, I move on. And those that did ask for help, received it, not as they asked, but, according to their need.

But, for those who are not yet ready: I am who I am. Let There Be Chaos.

Rome 2013

Ivstitia

(continued from the previous blog PERUGIA)

March 25, 2013: I'm glad I went to Italy. I'm standing here outside Italy's Supreme Court, Corte de Cassazione, in Piazza Cavour, Rome, waiting with a crowd of press and other journalists. I knew I had to be there.

It's been an interesting journey, ever since I first came across the Meredith Kercher case at HUFFINGTON POST then at PERUGIA MURDER FILE. For a while it seemed like it could go either way. Amanda Knox and Rafaelle Sollecito have been found guilty, then provisionally acquitted by Judge Claudio Hellmann, now under appeal. A strong case, vs judges wanting to get rid of the problem? In January, I decided I should try to be there, to see whether justice would prevail.. I wrote and asked for a press pass, which I received in mid February. Was in Perugia March 18-24, and Rome March 24-31.

Cassazione is in a neo-classical 19th century building at Piazza Cavour in Rome. There are two entrances, one facing the Tiber river opposite Ponte Umberto I, and the other one most people go through on the Piazza Cavour side. Three camera crews milling around outside, from NBC, CNN and RAI.

I arrive at 9:20 AM and pick up my press pass, Passi n. 342, Sezione Penalli, Corte Supremi de Cassazione March 25, 2013. The court session begins at 10:00 AM.

Find my way to the Aula Prima Penale on the second floor. Huge, wide halls, facing a large inner court yard.

Not an overly large court room. 16 seats behind the partition where the legal teams sit. I grab one of the last seats, reporters from The Telegraph, New York Times, AP, Il Giornale dell Umbria, free lancers standing around and against the walls. Visible are Kercher family lawyer Maresca, Knox lawyers Della Vedova, and Ghirga, Sollecito lawyers Maori, and Bongiorno. Raffaele's father Francesco Sollecito surrounded by large family group, but Meredith's sister Stephanie Kercher could not be there due to her mother's ill health.

10:00 AM: The 5 judges walk in. Luigi Riello, attorney general for the court, sits on the podium to the left, with Maresca on that side, the defendant's team to the right..

...There are about 40 people in the audience. Journalists, law students from La Sapienza University, Sollecito family. Note: any Italian citizen or member of the press may attend Cassazione hearings. Just show your ID.

The presiding judge discusses the order of the day. There will be other cases dealt with later, after Knox and Sollecito.

10:15 AM: Proceedings begin. Riello makes a brief statement. Judges retire behind closed doors. Speak to the law students. Some think the case is very strong, others that it hasn't been proven beyond a reasonable doubt. Most seem to favour a guilty verdict.

10:35 AM: Judges return, and ask questions of Riello about the points in his appeal. Two judges then enter into a lengthy summation of the case before them, and the appeal arguments. The relatrice is a woman in her 50's, v. bright and alert.  (Judge pro) Her respondent, Judge con, is probably in his 50's, with a goatee, and he starts with a lengthy summation. It appears they are arguing pro and con, a view of an inquisitorial system arguing and then arriving at a conclusion.

Question asked of Riello. He answers, then speaks very strongly about the legality of the appeal. Then he talks about a crime of passion, with a escalating crescendo of violence. The president listens intently.

Riello starts to veer off into the evidence, instead of the law, which is what Cassazione is about. The president interrupts him, saying "if I allow you to do this, then the defense will want to do the same, and we'll be here all day". Della Vedova smiles. Seems very confident at this point. More questioning of Riello, who makes a long dissertation. Judge con questions him about the interpreter Anna Donino, and how much she influenced Amanda Knox's "confession". Riello responds.

The relatrice (Judge pro) goes on at length about Le corte de Assise, (the Appeals court of Judge Hellmann) then about Rudy Guede's role in the crime, with 'the assistance of others'. Mentions the computer hard drives as argued by the defense. Then Amanda's role in falsely accusing Lumumba, the callunia. Brilliant, but rather long summation. Both she and the other judges speak past noon, with the arguments going back and forth, at length about the evidence, about Raffaele and the knife, the computer drives, biological traces, possible motive, Knox and the arrival of the postal police, Sollecito fudging the alibi, their guilty behaviour, Knox and Lumumba again. Emphasises that it was a sadistic act.

A very strong summing up of the evidence. I fell that finally, Meredith Kercher is being considered.

Frank Sfarzo shows up. No eye contact, hmm. He doesn't know who I am, stands there texting away. (Refer to the previous blog and all references to Sfarzo~gate)

12:42 PM: The judges are still going strong, with speculation it was an impulsive crime of the moment, and the relatrice summing up of the psychological motives behind the false accusation.

1:00 PM: The presiding judge thanks her for her (long) summation.

Riello sums up at length: Strong voice, humorous asides to lawyers. Asks for the 'disability' of the ruling by the Appeals court, jokes about the internet DNA research of Conti and Vecchiotti, that the law must be respected. Makes an impassioned speech about Intenzia, Motivazione, the 'anthropological relations between Knox and Sollecito, how their reactions were not normal'. "I was there" reads as "I did it". The accusation of Lumumba. A Psychological summing up. La Ragazza (naive Amanda) visiting Italy. Of Sollecito's "I can't remember". "Insomnio, Insomnio"

Sfarzo texting away. Francesco Sollecito wondering what I'm doing there

Riello goes on at length about Lumumba. Her accusation of an innocent man was "pathological". The illogicality of the appeal ruling by Hellmann. Judge Massei, the judge of the 1st instance trial, on the other hand, had expressed his judgement logically. Knox was the brain who manipulated Guede. Normal vs abnormal behaviour. Inappropriate behaviour.

Reporters coming and going out.

Will the court send back to Florence? Multo confuzione.

President tells him to get on with it. Basta! Is he losing patience? Riello's getting a bit long winded in the argument. Asking for the proper application of the law. Repeat: asking for a ruling of the illogicality of Hellmann/Zanetti again.

Not enough people present to fill the galleries. 16 seats audience. 20-30 standees. That's it.

Riello making fun of the contaminizione. Illogical arguments of appeal to try to prove contamination. Tidies up his files; thumps the desk with both hands. Gravissimo! Guilty, with Rudy Guede. Rejecto the recorso. To allow the appeal of the Procurator Generale. Pleads to ask the calunnia (criminal defamation) conviction and sentence of Amanda Knox to stand.

Lunch break 30 minutes. Court to reconvene @ 2:35 PM.

 The sign outside the court: 1st Sezione Penale Aula.

 Lunch till 2:45 PM. Speak to reporters and law students in the hall and crowded but elegant cafeteria down stairs. Law students have a mixed view on the matter. On the one hand, that Italy's legal system is antiquated and needs to move more toward common law practices. Others, equally passionate about the inquisitorial system and checks and balances within it. Aware of American media interference and attacks on the integrity of their system. The majority view, that I can see. One woman says oh, I think she's innocent (but leans toward the case not being proven) and another, a student from Africa, says flat out he thinks she's guilty. No one mentions Raffaele

The reporters consensus seem to be that the tough questioning by the court (of Riello) indicates that Knox and Sollecito will go free. The relatrice and he had quite a discussion about the proposed remedies, and I was struck by the sheer intellectual capacity of the arguments, and responses.

Return from lunch, and Frank Sfarzo is there towards the back, so I stand beside him, observing. His hair's longer now, so he's abandoned the short sides and trim he had on Vashon island, and wearing a rumpled blue pin stripe suit, no tie. He's on some IM account scrolling and texting away. Doesn't look too shabby, honestly, so I guess someone's still supporting him. Doesn't make eye contact. Then suddenly he lets out a big sneeze. Oh dear, has someone got a cold?

3:20 PM: Giulia Bongiorno is going strong, almost argumentative. She's a good speaker, with a flair for the dramatic. Judges listening intently, as she argues about the errors in Riello's statement, arguing on the law, the imputing of malfeasance by the appeals court. Going on about Rudy Guede as the sole perpetrator as determined by the Corte de Appello.

3:45 PM: This is when I see, and Giulia does too, the court slipping away from her. She's also arguing the evidence, going on about the computer hard drives, orating, almost operatic, now using the cartoon vixen defense of Knox.

4:00 PM: Maresca walks out as she continues. Sadly, she sounds almost desperate. The president sits there, bemused as she berates him, and geez, but she's being going on longer than Riello.

4:35 PM: Carlo Dalla Vedova. A snappy dresser always. Arguing "see you later"? (the text from Knox to Lumumba) Sheesh. Now every one on the defense team is arguing evidence, and running on scared.

4:50 PM: Happy Birthday, Luciano Ghirga. (Knox's lawyer) Going on about Masons, fer crying out loud. (PM Mignini's apparent 'obsession') Paints Knox as naive, Little Miss Innocenti.

5:05 PM: Ghirga concludes, and the court adjourns right after. There will be an announcement @ 9:00 PM.

The reporters all chase out after the lawyers. They seem to get their cues from whoever they talked to. It went well, no, it didn't go well. Fascinating to see their demeanour reflected in the stories they write and give in later interviews. Frank Sfarzo sits with other Italian reporters in one corner of the hall, spinning what just happened, and what is going to happen. I feel he's still after Mignini, and as I found out in Perugia, watch out, Frank, Mignini's carrying a much bigger stick now

I make friends with the cops. Much more fun than the reporters, but seriously, I respect the journalist's craft. They're professionals, forced by their editors and news departments to write crap, fit a narrative. No mileage in the truth, sometimes, though of course for many, it's the truth as they see it.

I get a sandwich and eat it out in the hall. Everyone has to hand in their pass by 7:00 PM but we don't need new ones to come back in. I enjoy they're not as paranoid about security as we NorteAmericanos. Then I get called to the front security, grande problema; nessun problema

8:35 PM: Giulia Bongiorno takes a call. Something stressful. I think her source is telling her something from inside the court.

9:05 PM: Doors open.

9:07 PM: The judges will announce their decision tomorrow, March 26, @ 10:00 AM. (Raffaele Sollecito's birthday)

In all the foofaraw I miss a couple of important calls I could have taken to meet some people, but instead I head off home. As I walk across the Tiber on Ponte Umberto I, there's Frank Sfarzo at the lights, driving a newish SmartCar, and we look at each other, then he drives off, still texting away. I'm not going to chase after him to get his license plate, thanks, and somehow I doubt he could have imagined I'd be there.

Off to bed, and I dash off a couple of notes. What will tomorrow bring? I've had this feeling, but never wanted to engage with it. The day will bring what it brings.

-----------
Summary:
This is why I got involved in the Meredith Kercher case, and which has brought me here to Cassazione. To one day, see justice be done, and my commitment sees me here in Rome. It's been quite a struggle to balance my other work and heavy family responsibilities, but I do care about the world that I will leave behind for my children, and am honored to have taken up Meredith's cause for the last three years. Yes, I get passionate about my causes, which has in the past been anti-apartheid, Vietnam war, anti-war, pro-Palestine. I even worked on the campaign to try elect a female president in Pakistan, back in 1964. Meredith's cause was simply an extension of this, but has come over the years to take on a spiritual dimension that transcends mere reasons of logic or law.

A reporter asks me: "why're you so involved?" And I reply with a question I asked a while back: what drew you to this case? It is this question, I think, that will better help us understand ourselves, but also, why Meredith was so important to us. It was about justice, but also, about our deeper spiritual selves, and our need for peace. Another reporter (they got to know me quite well in court) asked whether I was Meredith's uncle! seeing as I come from the same city as Arline Kercher. No, but I'm sure that there was an affinity based on that. Never mind. It's a good question. Why am I here? And where do I go from here?

It's been a good two weeks in Italy. I arrived on the 18th and was delayed at the train station, getting a phone; I arrive late in Perugia and miss my appointment with PM Mignini. The sun was finally out yet as I get on the train, it's pouring rain. I feel those are cleansing tears, and feel hopeful that justice will finally be done. But I'm also glad I am here, to witness it.

Perugia is an ancient city built on an Etruscan foundation; its walls contain many remnants of the older civilization. Its inhabitants have always been fiercely independent of Rome, and could care less that the sophisticated Romans think of them as er, slightly provincial, and maybe, superstitious. Me, I love every thing about it, from the chocolate to the culture and the warm, friendly people. And there is another thing that drew me to it: the Etruscan culture was very concerned with the after life and the hidden dimensions. It seems to me that while there's this huge disconnect in Western civilization between rationalism and spirituality, here in Perugia it's all a whole lot closer to the surface. I met occultists who I'm now pleased to call friends, and sense the many bright, shining spirits that hang there. Meredith had a much deeper connection to Perugia than most can imagine, so I have kept my views on this mostly out of this site, even when I felt it precluded a deeper understanding of this case or the culture of Perugia. If people wanted to call it a simple murder case, then why does it haunt those of us drawn here? I tried, in my own way, to help bridge that and create a deeper understanding.

I should also point out that PM Mignini was unfairly targeted for even hinting there were deeper, darker forces at play here in the MOF and Meredith Kercher cases. North American media played on those very same anti-supernatural tendencies by painting him as a satanism obsessed prosecutor, and in so doing, allowed some serious criminals to walk free. Even when some native commentators on TJMK and PMF discussed the deep hold masonry has on the Italian polis I felt those references went over the head of most people or were politely ignored. That's sad, really. I do not speak for him or claim to know what his views on the supernatural are, but failure to understand the underlying Perugian culture seriously impedes our understanding of this and the related MOF case, and gives his enemies a free rein to continue attacking him. And us from defending him. IMHO. Me, I can always walk away from it, but I am here for a reason.

The train from Perugia arrives in Rome the afternoon of the 24th, and it's gloriously sunny. Yet, that night in my hotel room, I'm woken by a heavy storm and lightning that once again, feels like cleansing tears.

It's sunny but cold the morning of the 25th, so I make my way to Cassazione and am there till after 9:00 PM, when the announcement is made that the court will render its decision the next day, 10:00 AM, March 26, 2013. Regardless of what many are now saying it was clear the appeal would be won, the fact is the consensus among the reporters in court that night was that Knox and Sollecito would win. But I saw Bongiorno's face fall when she received that call at 8:35 PM, and believe that is when she found out which way the decision would go (Which is why Papa Sollecito and Frank Sfarzo weren't in court the next day)

--------

9:30 AM, March 26, 2013: I'm there early. It's a bright sunny day, and I am hopeful. New shirt and tie, and the briefcase of course:) Some reporters are lost, but I've been in and out so many times I lead them through the many halls, elevator from the cafeteria, right then left, left.

10:00 AM: The doors open, and we go in. Standing room only. The judges enter at 10:05 AM, and at 10:07 AM, bang! a complete victory for the appeal, and the decision read in less than 60 seconds by the presiding judge. Complete, shocked silence in court. Maresca dashes over to hand some papers to the bench, and the lawyers huddle together. Outside, the defense put on a brave face, but they look shell shocked, the defeat is complete.

I shake Maresca's hand, and head out. He says to the waiting reporters, at least now they know they will get a fair hearing in Florence, but really, this is his style. He won't gloat about what was the end of a long and shameful episode in the treatment of this case.

But first, I go to public relations to get a copy of the dispositivo (they had to call the court clerk's office to have it sent down to them and it appears I got the first copy, no one else had asked by 10:30 AM) and I pass it on to the other reporters so they head off to the clerk's office to get their copies. I also find out how to get a copy of the reasoning report when it is released in the future.

Then I go out and watch the reporters file their stories with the waiting TV cameras. Watching the reports on the news later, I ask: Are these the same people that complained to me about how the story was 'worth nothing as compared to real problems' they'd rather be reporting, like war and the economy? That 'it doesn't matter at all except to the families'? I replied that well, justice is always important but they said the only reason they were there was because their head offices wanted to push the story. (Funny, but when I returned to Piazza Cavour two days later there was an NBC crew from London complaining about how they should have been on their way home but were still there for reasons undetermined

I spend the rest of the day meeting reporters and once again, the rain starts to fall. Let it pour. I find it cleansing, healing.

Tomorrow, I'm going to start enjoying my vacation. But tonight, I will find Pesci Fritti, a small trattoria off piazza dei Satiri, and, enjoying my dinner, raise a glass to the Kerchers and to Meredith. RIP, Meredith Kercher.

Why did I go to Italy? Whatever I do, there always is a reason, or many,  that compelled me. The many spirits of Perugia. Past lives in ancient Etruria (the homeland of the Etruscans, corresponding to Tuscany and Umbria and Rome itself. Papal politics, which I have been following since the assassination of Pope John Paul I and the Banco Ambrosiano scandal. Italy, that has drawn me since I was young; the assassination of PM Aldo Moro and the masonic lodge Propaganda P2, Italy's role in facilitating the Iraq and Libyan wars. Much karma here, and the earthquake was a message. But never mind that. I will do my healing work here, much as I did in Tehran 2007, then return home.

But there always is the personal: people who have been haunted by the case, in Italy and also at home. What can I do but try to help? I draw the Tarot card, "Justice". Yes, I bring justice, and I bring karma. Wherever I go, there is change, and I don't even try to change things, just be.

Why am  I here? Well, the people I met through the case. So many people in need of help, from the woman who was a healer yet afraid to express that side of herself, to the man still grieving over the death by suicide of his parents, to the woman whose thesis was going no where. Each of these, and many more, I helped. The people in Perugia I have met before, the streets of Rome where every step brings back memories...the people I ask: where do you go from here? This is what I do.

Where do I go from here? I don't know. The future will bring what it brings. But in  the end, this is the memory I take back home to Toronto:

Me, waiting here outside Cassazione the evening of March 25, waiting for the judges to come back.

Waiting, for justice.